A time to reflect and reassess

“The tree of life is Love” – Laurie-Ann Zachar Copple (c) 2021

Hi everyone. I came to the end of the prepared Ways to Grow articles in March, and I still plan to write another, but the words just won’t come. I can say that this time has been a season of growth in care of my dad, who is 93 and has vascual dementia. He has mini-strokes and seizures, where more and more of his memories and reasoning is taken away. He is horribly confused and sometimes belligerent, depressed and ambivalent. He refuses to be in a care home and wants to stay in his own home. He wants his finances to be handled by another family member (which is his choice), although he accepts our daily care and meals. We have a PSW come care for his hygiene and we do the laundry and some of the housework. We monitor his needs as best we can, noting when he has these episodes, and his behaviour for his doctor.

At the same time, we are both working through our own health journeys. I now have care at Sunnybrook Hospital for potential breast cancer resurgence and will have lymphedema care. Tony will have a video-assisted biopsy on May 4th at Toronto General Hospital, to assess the tumour that is in his left lung lining. There will also be samples taken. To do this, they must drill a 1 cm hole in Tony’s rib cage. It’s a lot more involved than the core needle biopsy that L-A had. We researched it through a booklet sent by the asbestos.com people in the US. It looks like Tony has a form of mesothelioma, due to past asbestos exposure in the Royal Navy. Financially he can’t have compensation from HM government, but since we are in a public health care system, compensation may not be an issue for health care. We will know soon from Tony’s biopsy whether this is a malignant mesothelioma or a benign one. Either way, the tumour will have to be removed.

Meanwhile, we have been attending Catch the Fire Toronto (near the airport). I have some history with this church, although almost all the people who were there in the late 80’s and the 90’s have moved on. One Sunday, we were sitting in a spot close to the front in a disabled row. It had a good view of the stage, although there were also screens by both sides of the stage. One of the church leaders asked for the Holy Spirit to speak ONE WORD to each person about the season we were now in. I’m sure that there were different answers for other people, but for me, the word was, PERSEVERANCE. This set well with my spirit, and I plan to write on this journey – I’m sure the words will be there soon.

I do know however, that perseverance isn’t just waiting something out or coping, it is much more active than that. I am sure that it will be another way to “Grow in God,” and involve more of a refiner’s fire to make me a little more like Jesus. That’s the point! But it’s not easy. So as we battle the confusion and enmeshment of three medical journeys in a perfect storm, we will not quit. May you also not quit in your own journey. If you don’t quit, you WILL win. That piece of lovely wisdom is pure hope, shared by Mama Heidi Baker herself.

Bless you on your own journey. I will be back.

Love, Laurie-Ann

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